Lonely

i have been feeling very lonely lately. i feel as though i have no friends; no family; nobody to love me. this is possibly due to the fact that i really do have very few friends and that the few friends i do have are far from me in the literal and figurative sense. but i know i don't have to feel this way. i have the most amazing best friend who i love with all my heart. but is this enough to get me by, is having this one friend's love enough. i have never felt in place, on the contrary i almost always feel out of place. i have never belonged for one reason or another. being gay makes me more of an outcast especially in my family. and even though it is still a secret to most, it keeps me from making friends and being completely myself. i hate having to hide, another reason why i am so lonely. but who else can i trust so much to let them know exactly who i am; including my flaws, imperfections and bad habits. i am glad for those who truly are by my side. i love them all so deeply; but when it comes right down to it i am so alone in this world that when i die, no one will cry at my funeral; no one will visit my grave; no one will remember all the great things i have done. but to end on a silly note... i caught myself talking to myself,, and it was a pretty interesting conversation. lmao thats how lonely i am.